Issues of Style

Before I got heavily into the edit, we discussed issues related to style, which help ensure consistency across a single novel and across an entire series. Dave is Canadian; he based his world’s military partly on his personal service and partly on the U.S. military. We decided to use U.S. English spelling per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, and the U.S. Navy Style Guide, the U.S. Marine Corps New Style Guide, and the AP Stylebook*.

Dave’s Story

Dave emailed his completed manuscript to me. His series starts as a first-contact that goes wrong. The human military is required to fight ferocious space battles to save humanity across multiple planets, and the military leadership must fight government oversight to ensure they have the personnel and materiel they require to do their job. That quick description is an over-simplification: Dave has a large cast of characters, a wide-spread setting, and multiple plot lines going at once.

Consistency Tools

Dave’s world is deep. As I read, I created a style sheet, a spreadsheet, and a custom Word dictionary to help maintain consistency.

On the style sheet, I recorded spelling, capitalization, and consistency choices. Some of those entries were for words specific to Dave’s word (holoplot, holopresence); some were words I got tired of looking up (light-second, light-hour). Some entries detailed when to capitalize the words fleet and imperial. And a couple were to indicate a choice: tier vs level to describe a security clearance, for example.

The spreadsheet contains tabs for characters, ship names, and locations. The ship names tab contains entries for the name of a ship, its class, its captain, which task force it belongs to, any notable details, and its current status.

I’m not always the bestest speller** so I definitely rely on Word to flag words for me. For science fiction and fantasy works, you can end up with a LOT of words flagged as misspelled. So I also created a custom dictionary with character names, ship names, locations, and words Dave created for his world.

And I sent all of these to Dave with his edited manuscript.

The Line Edit

When I do a line edit, I heavily use comments to note what I’m reading: what questions I have, what I like, what makes me laugh out loud or cry. I also used comments for Dave’s work specifically to count things: number of Marines killed, number of missiles spent, number of ships disabled or destroyed, etc.

I used Track Changes to directly make changes to Dave’s manuscript: changing verb tenses, rearranging sentences written in passive voice, changing paragraphing, rearranging sentences within a paragraph, making obvious plot and character corrections, offering rewording, making suggestions for scene setting, and more. (An obvious character correction might include when a writer accidentally uses the wrong name or rank in dialog, or changes a character’s previously stated hair or eye color.)

Track Changes shows both the original material and my suggested deletions, insertions, and moves, and—most importantly—allows the author to accept or reject each change.

The Dev Edit

I also sent Dave a 17-page editor letter. (To be fair, two pages were details about the manuscript and the style guides. One page was praise for his writing and story.) I typically don’t do this for a line edit, but I had a LOT of questions about Dave’s world and story and backstory. (Some of those questions were actually about how modern military ranks work, and Dave was kind enough to explain.)

When I asked a question, I also suggested a location or two in the story where I thought it could be answered. Some questions were to help explain how Dave’s world worked in relationship to other science fiction novels. For example, faster than light travel is almost always accepted technology for large enough worlds, but authors have choices for how/whether they explain how their FTL works.

Then I moved on to plot and character development, noting any inconsistencies or holes and what might be changed or added to address those issues.

Finally, I included a short list of common problems specific to Dave’s writing. All authors have them: maybe they struggle with dialog punctuation, or they have a couple words they really like that are unique enough to be noticed. Because a lot of writers are working with strict budgets, I like to include this type of feedback, along with guidance for improving, to help them with future projects.

Combining edits, what?

Ideally, you would do a developmental edit before a line edit. A developmental edit will call out issues with plot and character and worldbuilding (and more) that often require rewriting or removing existing material and adding new material.

A line edit typically focuses only on the writing, not the story. Any big-picture issues should have already been dealt with before doing a line edit.

If you do a line edit and dev edit at the same time (or in the wrong order), you run the risk of wasting time and money if an editor makes suggestions for content you will end up cutting. (Also, it can be hard to focus on both big-picture elements and medium-picture line editing at the same time. Your editor may miss some big picture elements.)

Dave had already published two books in this series. He had good practice writing compelling characters and plot. In my reading, I felt that he mostly needed additions, not large rewrites or removals. I felt comfortable providing developmental feedback while doing the line edit, hoping any edits he approved of could serve as an example for new material he chose to write.

After My Edits

Dave, like a lot of indie authors, has a limited budget and prefers to do his own final copyedit and book formatting. To help him out, I’ve given him recommendations of a consistency tool I use, and I’ve created a list of words that are misspelled in his world but Word doesn’t catch, even with the custom dictionary (like when one of us accidentally drops the last i in Medici’s name. Turns out medic is a perfectly correct word, but not always the correct word).

Over ten books, we’ve developed a trust. My first line edit showed EVERYTHING I changed. For later line edits, and with Dave’s permission, I “silently” corrected dialog punctuation, Canadian to American spelling changes, misused words, contractions in dialog, capitalization choices, and a couple other things.

Notes

* Fiction works typically use a style guide that we all call Chicago. At the time I did my initial research, the U.S. military (or, at least, the Navy and Marine Corps) used AP.

** It’s OK that I’m not the bestest speller. Honestly. I know that I need to double-check the spelling of all sorts of words, especially compound words (is it school teacher, school-teacher, or schoolteacher?). I never rely on my spelling if I’m even a little bit unsure.

Testimonial (July 2024, email)

About me, Dave says:

I have been lucky to work with Val for years. She has edited many books for me, more than 10, one of which won an award. I appreciate her light touch and the way she polishes my writing. She helps make the book more readable and makes suggestions that help improve the overall book.

Unlike some editors, Val is very focused on the writing and the arc of the story and does not stray into suggesting plot changes or character changes. She does find plot inconsistencies and character inconsistencies. She ensures that the story flows smoothly.

She is always both quick and accurate in editing and adds value to the writing process. Without Val’s work, my books would be less than they are.

Find Dave’s Work

Dave writes under the name D Rebbitt and maintains an author page on Amazon. The first book in The Globur Incursion is Fulcrum.